AAA Championship

May 10, 2008

Glendoveer East Golf Course (Portland, OR)

Format:  two-man best ball

East Portland, OR -- A noon starting time combined with many of the competitors involved in a Friday night get-together meant that most teams were prepared for the 2008 AAA Championship well before they made their way to one of Portland's most tradition-laden golf courses. 

The theme of the day was matching team uniforms, as five of the eight squads had a particular motif in their garb.  "Cubby Den" wore matching golden golf shirts as they led things off on the first tee.  "Yu Wah's Jukebox" joined them in striped adidas shirts, no doubt an ironic reference to our country's particularly strict justice system. 

Sporting fashionable, yet functional visors, "Beaver Replays" lead the second foursome of the day, paired with the travelers from the south, "Team Corvallis".

Next up (wearing bright orange tops with caps advertising The Masters golf tournament) was "Divorce".  Their team had done the most extensive pre-round preparations and were visibly agitated on the tee.  Bryan Norris apparently had a premonition of his team's hole-by-hole scores and remarked, "They're all fours!" before teeing his ball.  Nattily attired in matching Stayton High School visors and sweater vests, "Stayton Hoops" had thoughts of getting back into their cars and heading home before realizing that their playing partners didn't possess the stamina to keep their behavior up all day.

With his partner conspicuously absent for the pre-round greetings, tournament host Tommy Berry quietly plotted his day and led the final foursome off the tee.  "Mt. Hood" was the team thought to be the pre-competition favorite due to Tim Tyvand's high handicap, yet fast improving game.  Lance Meyerink was resplendent in a bright orange and black ensemble that evoked the memory of Oregon State legend Dee Andros, famously known as the Great Pumpkin.  Tyvand was late arriving and no doubt hampered by having to spend the morning at something known as the Hippie Chick Marathon.  The vision -- and the stench -- of hairy unkempt women running for miles could continue to haunt him well into the season.

Scores were low on the front nine, with "1.5 Year Construction" getting done in a preposterous 27 strokes that included one eagle, seven birdies and only one par.  Three strokes back, "Divorce" was their closest competition with "Beaver Replays" in at five strokes under par.

Upon hearing that Berry and the mysterious Mr. Moyle were nine under par, a number of teams realized their chance of winning was through and began screaming vociferously for the beverage cart to make its first appearance of the day.  It was a request that would ultimately prove to be in vain.

With back-to-back bogeys on holes 12 and 13, "Divorce" fell out of the race and gave hope to "Beaver Replays" who falsely believed that an eagle on the 17th hole could propel them back into the championship hunt.  Instead, bogeys by both Wold and Albright ended their dreams and both teams finished a distant six shots behind the winning squad.

Berry was the story of the day.  Less than one month after a controversial victory at the Broadfoot Open, he again chose to team with a player that was unknown in the TGS Cup circle.  Despite snide remarks and questioning glances, he soldiered on and played one of the best rounds of his life.  Taking only 38 strokes on each nine, his handicap was called into question but his ball-striking and jovial nature could never be denied.  He has taken an enormous lead in the 2008 TGS Cup standings and the title is his to lose at this point in the season.

The second place tie was later decided by an unprecedented "chip off" in the back yard of Berry's often vacant home in southeast Portland.  A near whiff by Charlie Broadfoot and a skulled wedge into the neighbor's yard by Norris left "Beaver Replays" only needing a shot within ten yards of the open ice chest to claim their luxurious prizes. They heroically delivered.  Though his team didn't achieve glory on the golf course, tour stalwart Brendan McMullen took solace in the fact that he won the "Most Tacos Eaten" award, a title he hopes to defend in 2009.

The tour resumes in June with a rare Sunday tournament at Stone Creek in Oregon City, OR.  Tournament host Jason Wold will attempt to win on his birthday and vault himself back into the TGS Cup race.