TGS Cup Championship

Player	Handicap	Saturday	Sunday	Total gross score	Total net score	TGS Cup points
Brett Hamel	7	78	74	152	138	60
Rich Wold	14	83	84	167	139	45
Larry McKenna	31	109	94	203	141	42
Jim Rader	20	93	89	182	142	39
Andy Rader	15	86	87	173	143	36
Bob Albright	14	90	83	173	145	33
Lance Meyerink	18	92	92	184	148	30
Jason Wold	4	79	79	158	150	27
Jeff Albright	9	86	83	169	151	24
Tommy Berry	12	91	85	176	152	21
Charlie Broadfoot	10	84	89	173	153	18
Tim Tyvand	26	99	113	212	160	15
Dave Charbonneau	22	109	97	206	162	12
Alan Danner	23	95	NA	NA	NA	NA

It’s been a long and glorious seven months of golf, in what will probably go down as one of the most hotly contested Tailgate State Cup races in history.

The storylines have been rich: from Jeff Albright’s dominating start, to Tommy Berry’s proof that you can excel at two goofy sports (golf and running) on the same day, to The Cup’s version of Mario and Luigi (the Raders) attempting to topple TGS’ Donkey Kong (Jason Wold) heading into this final weekend.

And what about Larry McKenna and Brett Hamel – possibly the worst and best golfers, respectively, on tour – making serious runs at the title in their first full seasons?

The 2009 season saw The Cup lose a couple of mainstays (Harris and McMullen), and pick up some new meat including a tour doctor, an athletic director and other people that no one knows or cares about.

The controversies have been thankfully minimal this season. But now, with a new-look Championship Weekend – including babies, wives, a half-assed casino and a Native American Oktoberfest featuring an accordion player – you have to wonder what exactly this field is in for during this two-day "Chicken Dance" of sports, points and strange groupings.

GROUP 1 – BOB, DANNER, CHARLIE: Since none of these guys have a chance to take The Cup, don’t be surprised if Good Ole’ One-Club Broadfoot makes a showing again this Championship. On top of that, Danner has already hinted at withdrawing after the first round. On the plus side for these guys, expect lovable Bob Albright to be passing out gimmes like they were gummy worms at an event where people really like gummy worms. BEST SHOT AT GLORY – Bob wins the weekend title and triples the winnings at the slot machines.

GROUP 2 – RICH, JASON, CHARBONNEAU: Two-time defending champion Jason still has a slim chance and everyone hates that. The champ needs to play amazing (do-able), overcome twelve shots of the swill his friends force down his throat (do-able) and try to get some sleep after passing out in Delaney’s pack and play at 3 AM on both nights (no way). ODDS: 18-1.

Rich can’t be considered a serious contender because, once again, he’s planning on spending most of the weekend driving back and forth across the state between rounds. He’s already bitching about tee-times. 15-1.

Besides being the tour a-hole, Charbonneau has been an especially big tool at previous championships. Two years ago, he played in the final group, tried to go beer-for-beer with Harris, got smashed, and went idiot by dropping f-bombs at Albs and Wold as they charged for the title. Charbonneau ended up dead last. Last year, he started off the final round of the season by almost lopping off the head of the starter with his tee-shot. Your basic “Just Glad To Be Here” d-bag. 20-1.

GROUP 3 – BRETT, TOMMY, RINKER, TIM: Unless points are awarded in this thing for swimming, softball, "pumping iron" with Mark Uyeda, races for various cures, fruity drinks, skeet-shooting, equestrian, scootering, competitive eating and whatever else Tommy does when he’s not golfing, don’t expect Tommy to make much of a run. 9-1.

I don’t have a lot of material on Brett, but if you’re looking for a joke, just watch him try to figure out which ball is his down the stretch on Sunday. Actually, he might have the best shot in this group. 6-1.

Rinker and Tim are one in the same (kind of). Rinker thinks he’s good, but he sucks. Tim thinks he sucks and he does suck. Rinker directs his hot temper at himself, and no tournament is complete without a Rinker missed 3-foot putt followed by Rinker dissing himself with a, “You fat loser! No wonder you don’t have any friends!” Tim takes out his anger on his golf clubs and is destined to throw one at the nearest tee-pee this weekend. However, both of these guys present the tour with the lovey-dovey part of the Championship. What would be a better present for Mei than watching Pops win his first Cup? Same goes for Rinker with Nikki and that $500 would go a long way – or at least make the tiniest of dents – toward a new ring. I just puked in my mouth. Rinker - 8-1; Tyvand – 10-1.

GROUP 4 – ALBS, LARRY, JIM, ANDY: Albs just had to find something to get pissed off about and the field should all benefit from the fact he hates the three guys with which he’s playing. Although that’s not actually true, could you really blame Jeff if he did? They are all Duck fans, first of all. Secondly, if you have played with the Brothers Rader, you know that their constant course banter is reminiscent of those Jacobsen/Palmer pairings at the Fred Meyer Challenge… you want to chuckle, but it’s just so damn annoying.

As for Larry, I think his inability to throw the ball from left field to shallow left field pisses us all off. (Wait, I can’t either). At any rate, we all know Larry can’t win a tournament unless he’s playing in a 4-man-my-ball-never-counts 9-hole deluxe scramble (from the lady’s tees). If he wins this, boy, will my face be red. 11-1.

Take all that into account, with the understanding that this “write up” is all in good, bitter fun and it all comes down to this: Albs and Andy Rader at the wire, with Albs winning his first Championship, while Jim does his Craig Stadler impersonation.

Brett Hamel capped a scintillating two days of golf at Kah-Nee-Ta Golf Resort and Awful Food Emporium by claiming the Tailgate State Cup after missing the entire 2008 season. 2009 marked the third year in a row that a player with a single-digit handicap has won the TGS Cup -- a trend that is sure to disturb many of the "one or more-strokes-per-hole" variety.

The controversial decision by the tournament committee to award triple bonus points to the winner proved to be the difference as Hamel held off the Rader brothers (Jim and Andy) to take home the cup. Had the same scoring system as 2008 been used, Jim Rader would have cruised off into the Central Oregon sunset with the trophy. The irony was lost on no one that the change in the way that points were allotted was due in large part to Jim's filibustering at the pre-tournament meeting of committee members.

Here is a look at each player's weekend as well as their chances at becoming the 2010 champion:

ALAN DANNER: Only played golf on one day because he had a lady friend in tow. No one is sure how they spent their Sunday but perhaps horseback riding was involved. HIGHLIGHT: Shot the 4th lowest round on Saturday despite constant needling from his cart-mate (and noted Oregon Duck hater) Bob Albright. LOWLIGHT: Had to witness the carnage that occurred on Saturday night when the Tailgate State wives were wrapping up an all-day wine and pool bender. No one deserves the nightmare that was in place as their first real exposure to the Tailgate State social club. OUTLOOK FOR 2010: PAR. In his first year, Danner played in the minimum number of TGS events (four) to get full points and plays enough golf to be a serious competitor. The fact that he is a UO fan and a hunter might keep him from next year's championship, however, if the calendar isn't cooperative.

CHARLIE BROADFOOT: Last year's "one-club" experiment was fresh in everyone's mind and little was expected of him. A poor score on Sunday kept him out of the money but there was no shame in his finish. HIGHLIGHT: Took a damn-near four figure chunk out of the Warm Springs cash reserves. Fell into the "I'll just play a few more hands before going to bed" trap and gave a bit back but still proved to be quite profitable. LOWLIGHT: The Appaloosa Lounge was a target-poor environment for one of the few single members of Tailgate State. One would think that a middle-of-nowhere casino combined with an Oktoberfest celebration would produce plenty of opportunities for this young, virile, and gainfully employed homeowner. That person would be terribly wrong. OUTLOOK FOR 2010: DOUBLE-BOGEY. His refusal to stay in Oregon during the summer months means that he will never play in enough events to become a serious competitor for the cup.

BOB ALBRIGHT: Had no mathematical chance of winning the TGS Cup but a return to his Central Oregon homeland was enough to lure him into the trip. He played standard Bob golf (no birdies, no double bogeys) and shot the third lowest net score on Sunday after a thorough night's rest. HIGHLIGHT: Being near Madras and being able to tell everyone that he was awarded the first varsity letter for golf at Madras High School. LOWLIGHT: Not informing them that the letters were handed out to players in alphabetical order. Also, failing to realize that a candy bar and cup of coffee wouldn't put enough gas in the tank to allow him to move from beer to whiskey after the round is over. (Probably contributed to his good play on Sunday, though.) OUTLOOK FOR 2010: PAR. An injury prevented him from playing in the first half of the 2009 season but the commute from Corvallis isn't an easy one. Could become a competitor if he plays in six or more events next year.

DAVE CHARBONNEAU: Blew up on Saturday and knew he was out of contention by the second nine holes. He was probably looking forward to sleeping in a bed by himself with no children around to wake him up before sunrise and forgot that there was a tournament going on. HIGHLIGHT: Slept in a room by himself. In fact, even though he had an extra bed available, he refused to open his doors to tour groupie Karen Hoagland thus requiring her to sleep on a floor elsewhere in a heap of towels and bathrobes. This man loved his privacy. LOWLIGHT: Was demoted to the first group on Sunday. Playing in the earliest group of the day, knowing you had to lay off the beer in order to drive home and knowing that you would wait two hours for the leaders to finish had to be infuriating. He handled the situation calmly but the ordeal probably created a health problem that will reveal itself in future years. OUTLOOK FOR 2010: PAR. Charbonneau loves to compete and play golf. His friendly demeanor means he will get into any tournament he wishes and is a desirable partner for team events. However, with two young children and a wife that travels for business, his practice time is limited. Has a highly anticipated vasectomy scheduled for late-2009 that could alter his stance and golf game.

TIM TYVAND: After shooting a 41 on the first nine holes of Saturday's round, some had already conceded the tournament to him and were wondering how much second place was worth. His fall back into the field was neither pretty nor graceful with a 58 on the final half of the round. HIGHLIGHT: Being at a casino. No one loves the thrill of wagering more than Tyvand. You can see the pure bliss on his face when he's at a blackjack table with his cohorts, wagering five dollars on the turn of a card. Also knows that he possesses the ability to keep his wife in the dark about his profit-and-loss situation. LOWLIGHT: Four strokes below par on the front nine. Twenty shots over par on the back nine. OUTLOOK FOR 2010: BIRDIE. High handicap + healthy living + intense competitive desire = improved golf. Bringing a child into his family right before the beginning of the season did little to slow him down. A full year of getting adjusted to parenthood before next season will make him a worthy competitor.

JASON WOLD: The two-time defending champion was not considered to be a threat but shot below 80 each day to send a message that he cannot be forgotten about. Probably regretted the decision to bring his wife and infant along but the anger he felt was put to good use when hitting his driver. HIGHLIGHT: Gambling. Along with Tyvand, he relishes the opportunity to be in a casino. Even if it is a casino with only six blackjack tables and a $100 table limit. LOWLIGHT: Lack of sleep. Wold also relishes the opportunity to sleep. His weekends normally include three hours of napping each day, to go along with ten hours of regular bed time. He might have spent eight total hours with his eyes closed during the weekend (not including the times he was trying to "un-see" his wife's activities at the bar or on the dance floor at the previously mentioned Appaloosa Lounge). OUTLOOK FOR 2010: BOGEY. Never underestimate the heart of a champion. But neither should you overestimate the chances of a 40+ year old who works 60 hours per week and has three children at home. He needs to work hard to get that handicap back to a manageable number.

TOMMY BERRY: A relatively poor (for him) regular-season performance meant he was a long shot to win the cup. Shot an amazing net score of 75 on Sunday when many thought he was due for a trip to the Madras emergency room. HIGHLIGHT: Danced a waltz with Greta at the bizarre and un-attended Oktoberfest event occurring at Kah-Nee-Ta. LOWLIGHT: Very loud and conspicuous dry-heaving in the resort's loading zone on Sunday morning with shocked and aghast looks from bystanders unfamiliar with the routine. OUTLOOK FOR 2010: BIRDIE. As someone who works in the golf industry, has no familial obligations and plays in every event, Berry will need to be reckoned with next year. Only a bizarre archery accident or the decision to devote himself full-time to a career in sand volleyball will keep him out of the running.

LANCE MEYERINK: Was on the verge of contention prior to the weekend but a pair of 92s kept him out of the hunt. In previous years, he would have been counted on to be the life of the party and death on the golf course. New found maturity kept him from getting into any trouble but it hasn't seemed to improve his golf game terribly. HIGHLIGHT: Paid the casino $2000 prior to his arrival to make sure his girlfriend would win at blackjack thereby teaching her that gambling is fun and profitable and he should go on these trips as often as they are scheduled. LOWLIGHT: Felt he played much better on Sunday than Saturday yet shot a 92 on both days. OUTLOOK: PAR. Plays much better in social outings than in competitive rounds. Could take lessons to iron out his swing flaws but probably prefers the self-loathing that goes along with consistently scoring in the low 90s.

JEFF ALBRIGHT: Many were expecting him to exit the golf course in handcuffs, accused of assaulting a slow-playing member of his foursome on Saturday. An awful putting performance in the first round left little chance of competing for the trophy on Sunday. HIGHLIGHT: Won three of the six KP holes and pocketed $50. LOWLIGHT: Consumed 86% of his calories during the weekend from either a can, bottle or cocktail glass. The pan-fried oysters on Saturday night were inedible and probably neither pan-fried nor oysters. Also didn't terribly enjoy watching his wife perform a Saturday night lap dance for Mike Beauchamp. And Jason Wold. And Tommy Berry. And Edgar, an electrician from LaPine. OUTLOOK FOR 2010: BOGEY. His golf game has probably peaked and needs to admit that striving to maintain a single-digit handicap is good for one's vanity but not helpful in competition.

RICH WOLD: Had the second lowest score during the weekend despite driving 566 total miles between Portland, Kah-Nee-Ta and Corvallis. Campaigned to get into the first group on Saturday and set the pace with a net score of 69 and won $150. Only one shot worse on Sunday. HIGHLIGHT: Unknown. Was rarely seen by anyone outside of the people he played golf with. Maybe he had a really good Beef-N-Cheddar from Arby's on one of his drives. LOWLIGHT: Spent more time in his car than on the golf course. OUTLOOK FOR 2010: BOGEY. Probably the only thing that kept him out of serious consideration for the 2009 Cup was his sparse attendance record. Has the game to compete but as a single father working in a career that requires weekends, he probably won't play in enough tournaments in 2010 to maximize his points.

LARRY MCKENNA: Was not considered a factor after shooting a gross score of 109 on Saturday. Had everyone on the edge of their seats waiting for the final group to finish after posting a 94 (net 63) on Sunday. HIGHLIGHT: Sunday's round was a career-defining moment for a player looking to make a name for himself outside of the team events where he normally scores his points. Playing with Jason Wold, learned that he doesn't have to be anti-social on the golf course to play well. LOWLIGHT: Sunday's breakfast consisted of cigarettes and Pepto-Bismol as the previous night was spent on the toilet dealing with Kah-Nee-Ta's culinary disaster. OUTLOOK FOR 2010: BIRDIE. Proved to the field (and himself) that he is capable of posting a good score for 18 holes. That's a big mental hurdle for some to make. Assuming that his handicap doesn't drop too fast and he's committed to his game, could be a mainstay at the top of tournament leaderboards in 2010.

ANDY RADER: He was the pre-tournament points leader and played solid if unspectacular golf on both days to finish fifth for the tournament and third in the TGS standings. Taking one less stroke during the weekend would have moved him into second place above his brother which should make for some uneasy tension between the two in the off-season. HIGHLIGHT: Played a very good first nine despite carrying the pressure of being the points leader. LOWLIGHT: Weekend without children should allow you to get some rest but it probably wasn't fun to be up all night with heartburn. OUTLOOK FOR 2010: BIRDIE. Played in one event in 2007, four events in 2008 and eight events in 2009. Obviously takes the TGS Tour seriously and should be considered one of the pre-season favorites next year.

JIM RADER: Four strokes kept him from taking the 2009 title with most of those coming on the back nine of Saturday's round. His net score of 32 on the first nine holes had him near the lead. The second half of the round was a blur of yelps and flying clubs. HIGHLIGHT: Used his deliberate play and elongated pre-shot routine to get in the heads of his playing competitors and managed to shoot a better round than each of them except for his brother (Saturday) and Hamel (Sunday). LOWLIGHT: Having to defend his deliberate play and elongated pre-shot routine to the rest of the field over dinner, drinks and more drinks on Saturday night. OUTLOOK FOR 2010: BIRDIE. Membership at Pumpkin Ridge gives him plenty of opportunities to practice and play. Broken vertebrae didn't seem to have any effect on his game but will continue to take grief for his deliberate play and elongated pre-shot routine. Complicated relationship status might cause problems if it lingers into the new year.

BRETT HAMEL: Two sub-par rounds locked up the trophy for him. Some could have accused him of sand-bagging if not for his humble demeanor while accepting the trophy. Also claimed both long-drive prizes for a total take of nearly $700. HIGHLIGHT: Winning the title with his expectant wife waiting for him on the veranda. She would have run on to the green to embrace him had she not been enjoying the hummus plate she put out for the rest of the players. LOWLIGHT: None that are known. Maybe taking a belt of bourbon from a flask that Jason Wold had just sipped from was a bad idea? OUTLOOK FOR 2010: PAR. Definitely has the game to compete but a baby arriving in late-April does not bode well for his playing schedule. If he keeps shooting in the 70s, a low handicap could make things difficult.

The tour is now on hiatus until April 2010, when the Broadfoot Open traditionally opens the schedule. Most players are expected to forget about their golf games and ignore their physical fitness until it all comes back to them like flipping on a switch in the new year. Dilemmas, drama and adventures will undoubtedly occur in their personal lives during the off-season, making sure that 2010 will also be a season like no other.

It just warms my heart that everyone had such a good time - let’s talk about how much fun it was all getting together and how much we enjoyed everyone’s company…..what a bunch of homos. TGS Cup is BS. I put in a ton of work in all year – attending every tournament and winning 25% of them. Then I play through a broken back and jeers from the gallery to shoot a couple of great rounds in the final. What do I get??? 2^nd F’in place?? And a chance to play with a bunch of morons!

Brett Hamel – what a jerk. I work my a-hole off shooting a 40 on the front but this SOB hangs in there. It comes down to 17 where we are neck and neck and he hits a three wood 250 yards to give himself a 10 ft eagle putt. I AM GLAD YOU MISSED THE PUTT YOU JERK!

Andy Rader – drove the cart over every stinking bump he could find on the course….who cares that your brother has a BROKEN BACK! Always parked next to his ball – made me walk every time. And then he talks about playing with “swords”. WHAT KIND OF GAY COMMENT IS THAT HOMO!

Jeff Albright – nothing but grief for me the entire time. First he doesn’t even want to golf with me and then when I start to have some trouble on the back nine he offers me no encouragement…nothing! Not even an awkward man hug – I DON’T NEED YOUR HUGS YOU A HOLE!

Larry McKenna – that quad you put up on the front nine is on your permanent record. We don’t have time for that kind of score! How am I going to work in a proper pre-shot routine with you wasting time on your 8^th shot from the rough? HEY IDIOT - GET RID OF THE METACASE!

Rich Wold – what kind of a retard does the long haul drive both days?! You need to be a truck driver rather than a real estate agent – even if you are in 12^th place in your office. By the way Rich – 12^th place sucks! Who in the hell brags about being in 12^th place? Oh and while you are at it, I need referrals too. Refer all your potential home owners of to me so I can have my bank do their mortgages. That way and I can FORCLOSE ON ALL THOSE BASTERDS!

You all have fair warning that I had better come in first place next year or heads are going to role. I can’t wait to get the planning committee back together to vote on quadruple points for the 2010 final!