Al Fuego Invitational

August 28, 2010

Quail Valley Golf Course (Banks, OR)

Format:  two-man best ball with modified Stableford scoring

Banks, OR -- The largest field in the long and storied history of the Al Fuego Golf and Good Time Bonanza convened at Quail Valley Golf Course on a clear but windy day.  Nearly all of the players arrived well in advance of their tee times to practice, strategize and wager prior to their rounds.

Since everyone just skims through these recaps, looking for their own name, I've made it easy for you:  all the teams from worst to first.

Holmes/Danner:  could never get it going with only three birdies on the day.  Three double bogeys on the back nine killed any chance they had of contending and they were left only to ponder how many points their gang of criminal football players will lose by to the New Mexico Lobos the following weekend. (Editor's note:  this was originally written before the game was played.)  Danner has played in two tournaments this year with one win and one "holy shit they lost by how many points?" finish.  Better days ahead for these two (hopefully, after football season is complete, though.)

Martinez/Gordon:  the two players moonlighting from the Horizon Air tour had too many bogeys on their card to break away from the pack.  They did make a lot of friends with their complimentary peanuts and free cups of a local northwest micro brewed beer.  It was only after the round that people questioned why the cups were so small and why they never returned with a refill.  Nonetheless, they fought gamely with Ian sharing a KP prize with Lance Meyerink on the 16th.  I've never seen a KP contest end in a tie before but we'll take their word for it.

Hamel/McKenna:  the perfect pair of low and high handicappers that should have won this tournament.  What happened?  Larry had five "Xs" on his card and Brett only had one score better than 5 on his back nine.  They limped in with four bogeys and one double-bogey on the final six holes.  No doubt of clear mind, soul and body, however.  This was a tournament to forget for both of them.  And they probably already have.

Rader/Rader:  could they continue their hot play and keep moving up the standings?  No, they could not. An eagle by Jim on the third hole was offset by his 22 on the 14th hole and a 13 on the 17th (those are not typos).  In fact, when he saw his ball resting against the boundary fence on 17, he recognized the rule to play under and proceeded to bash the shit out of his golf ball "caveman-style" until it was away from the obstruction.  Andy tried to keep things under control but when your partner is having a grand mal seizure in the bunker, you don't have much of a shot.  Let the record show forever that Jim shot a 74 on the back nine.

Raser/Albright:  playing in only their second tournaments of the year, it was thought that their high handicaps would help them make a run at the title.  They each had a pair of birdies on the front side to stay in the hunt but seven pars on the back nine kept them out of the top ten.  Time and time again, their majestic curving balls would catch a gust of wind and head towards opposite sides of the valley.  That might sound hot in an adult movie but doesn't work so well on the golf course.  Wrong type of game to play in those conditions.

Charbonneau/Uyeda:  eight birdies, one bogey and one double bogey add up to a whole lot of blah.  There's no details on their round because Dave doesn't remember his phone number much less what his second shot on hole 6 was.  It's easier to get information about Kyron Horman's whereabouts than it is to get Mark to open up (ZING!). They both showed up at the after-party and didn't seem like they wanted to kill each other so it probably was a pretty non-descript, boring golf day that kept them in the middle of the pack.

Clark/Panowicz:  Andy carried them on the front nine but having to card a double bogey on the benign 16th hole killed their chances.  This is the first year as full-time tour players and the weekly grind of being on such a big stage might have shown.  Or they were already looking ahead to all of the hot 38-year old tail they were going to get at their high school reunion later that night.

Grayson/Carrano:  first off the tee and first birdie of the tournament on the first hole.  Three bogeys and no eagles kept them from contending, however.  Both were playing in their first TGS event and disappeared shortly after completing their round.  It is assumed that they had a good time and we'll see them again.  The same has been said about a lot of former competitors, though.

Broadfoot/Tyvand:  expected to be the favorites due to the variance in their handicaps.  Tyvand killed their chances, though, when he requested that they be placed in the first tee time thereby requiring his partner to find his wallet, keys and pants earlier than he normally prefers to on a Saturday morning.   Tyvand's eagle on the fifth hole gave them a glimmer of hope but a double bogey on seven and six straight pars to start the back nine ruined their day. 

Albright/Dickson:  it was assumed that their lack of length off the tee would be a hindrance for them but experience playing on the plains of central Oregon allowed them to navigate the difficult conditions.  Nine of their fourteen points were scored on the par 5 holes thanks to Albright's eagle on three and another birdie by each of them.  Three bogeys on the back nine killed their chance for a title and they would have to settle for seventh place.

Nufer/Teubner:  Kevin's 2010 tour debut was in question as he missed his tee time by 15 minutes but once arriving, helped give Steve his best finish of the year.  Steve's eagle on nine had them sniffing the lead but a bogey on the relatively short seventeenth hole spelled doom for this cagey duo.  Despite ending up in sixth place, they have to be encouraged by their prospects and their games seemed to complement each other well.

Wold/Meyerink:  the two players who probably wanted TGS points in the worst way could not get any magic happening on this day.  Nine birdies (five by Rinker, one by Rich and three more when they tied) were tied for most in the field but the inability to score any eagles left them high and dry (you decide which player fits each description).  The fifth place prize of a golf novel and a sleeve of balls didn't seem appropriate as it is unknown whether either of them can read.

Adelman/Kuester:  Wil had three eagles on the day that should have put them at the top.  Having to count a double bogey on the short par-3 sixth hole, however, was a ditch that they could never dig out of.  They had 18 points through 14 holes but would remain stuck there with a birdie and two bogeys the rest of the way home.  Their consolation would be the fourth place prize:  fine bottles of spirits.

Albright/Norris:  the two-time champions of this event were feeling confident that they would take home the prize for the third time.  Eagles by Jeff on the third and fifth holes had them in the hunt.  Bryan carried the team on the back nine, though, as his partner fell apart and shot a disappointing 46.  Birdies on 14, 15 and 18 were the only points they would score on the way in and it was a day of "what ifs" for their team.  They won a sleeve of balls each, a hat and a cart cooler that neither player seemed particularly excited about.

Wold/Wold:  who would have guessed that Tal would be the hung over member of this group?  Nonetheless, he made an eagle on the second hole and Jason followed it up by holing out from 80 yards on the third for his own eagle to get their team off to a fast start.  Tal had five birdies on the back nine, Jason carded two and after putting out on the 18th hole, they were left to wait and see what their fate would be.  Tal ended up carding the second lowest score of the day with a net 70 and would have named himself MVP of the team if that were possible.  When all the scores were tallied, a playoff would ensue to determine the victor (see below).

Berry/Sonne:  several eyebrows were raised when Tommy showed up claiming a handicap of 12.  His honesty never comes into question but all know him to be a better player than that.  He and Dann each birdied three holes on the front side but a double bogey on their card after the short par-3 sixteenth hole would leave some work to do.  Tommy eagled the seventeenth and Dann made birdie on eighteen to tie them with the Wolds for first place.  Tommy's net score of 68 was the round of the day and hopefully will lower his handicap index to a more reasonable number for a player of his ability.  Dann's overall score might not have been pretty (net 85) but he was solely responsible for 10 of his team's 21 total points scored on the day.

Since the prizes at stake were so valuable, it was determined that a playoff would be held on the nearby putting green.  Each player tried one putt from three different locations and after this pathetic display of golf was over, only Tommy Berry had managed to put a ball in the hole.  He and Sonne were awarded the first place prizes of custom embroidered Players Towels and Odyssey White Ice putters while the Wold cousins would have to settle for Callaway wristwatches and a sleeve of Titleist ProV1 golf balls.

The after-party consisted of several toddlers crashing into each other, crying and knocking over drinks while the players were left longing for the days of 3:00 AM tequila shots and char-grilled gluttony.

With only one tournament left in the regular season, Jason Wold and Tommy Berry seemed destined to battle for the 2010 Tailgate State Cup with a short list of players hovering below them in the standings.